It was changed
what was happened with my life ?
Definetely, I had so many problems on lately day. Of course, I wouldn’t share it here, just let it be privacy. Only one a problem, can change my life, now. MasyaAllah, why it happens now ? why didn’t it happen first, so then I will change my life to be better person than before.
The story was began…
Actually, He didn’t know me, just he was replied my direct message on IG, twice. But, you should know this feeling, it feels so true.
I’m falling in love with him, so deep. I was forgot, that he doesn’t loving me back, it’s impossible. I had a hope, very beautiful hope. A miracle, can change everything who have so difficult times. And absoletely, I had always pray like that, so then Allah would give him to me, as Allah’s gift.
So crazy me, to falling in love with him, so deep.
And the fact, turned me out, it was changed my life. Dissapointed, yet, that was what I felt first. i didn’t crying so loud, I didn’t know why, even until now, i’m still thinking about why I can’t cry.
It was felt like my heart was stabbed by a sword
Bad news came to me, in the noon when I was play my Instagram account. FYI, I had a little habit was always stalk everyone and anythings, that it who made me felt so jealous. I used to be often stalk his close friends, and then I got the name, her name. I didn’t know why this felt so strong to her, felt like I should be hate her, even she and I didn’t know each other, but this felt so jealous to her, of course.
Everytime i was stalked her, and then finally I found a bad news for me, that gave my heart truly be broke. I hate that time, really, the time made me so fall for down.
They would had a wedding ceremony, on the last Oct in this year. And now they were got married.
And don’t ask me, how I really am. I should stop to falling in love with him. I should to stop this feeling. I should to let him go, with his happiness, his beautiful fate. Of course, it happened with God’s hand.
So now, I must go on my life, alone, but not lonely. I’m still have Allah, family, and a little bit of close friends. I knew that my hatters will be happy if my life goes down. So, I’m ready to rise up, to start again from zero, to reach out my dreams, that before I didn’t reached.
I’m getting ready to be a better person, Bismillah.
6/11/20
